Christmas Letter 2015--A year in waiting

I’ll be honest, I had NO idea what I was going to write about in this year’s Christmas letter.  Sure, I could always go the conventional route and simply list each of our accomplishments this year, one by boring one.  However, if you have ever read me you understand that I am FAR from attracted to reading that sort of thing so I work hard each year not to write that sort of Christmas letter myself.   Last week I was sitting at our dining room table and writing our Christmas cards.  (Can I just say that I LOVE to do that?  I love everything about it.  I love selecting from the variety of cards that I keep on hand—you know, the religious, the funny, the cute……  I love selecting which Forever Christmas stamp to use on which card, which return address label to select and which sticker or seal to use on the back   [and sometimes front].  I love greeting cards and those of the Christmas variety are the absolute best.)  While I was sitting there Adam walked by and said “are we inviting THAT many people to Christmas?”  I said no and he said “well then why are you sending out so many invitations?”  I told him they were not invitations to a party they were Christmas cards.  He asked why anyone would want to do that—you know, sit down and intentionally write something many times ON PURPOSE?!  When I told him that it was just a small way to share the holiday with our family and friends he shook his head and said “that looks kinda hard, I think I’ll make my wife do it.”   Let me just say to the future Mrs. Adam Hendler wherever she may be that you heard it here first.     Anyway, as I was working on the cards I could hear the boys in the playroom (the doors from the dining room were open) and I heard Adam say to Alex from clear out of the blue, “So what do you think about purgatory?” (You know you are raising a Catholic kid when……….)  I’ll admit, my ears perked up.  I nonchalantly turned down the TV in the kitchen with the remote using my left hand while continuing to look busy writing with my right hand and completely eavesdropping with the rest of myself.  Adam was sitting and playing a game on his I pad and Alex was playing a video game on his PS4 and neither of them ever looked up as they spoke.  Alex said “Purgatory?  I always pictured it as this great big white waiting room with all these people sitting around just waiting for their turn to go up.”  Adam replied with, “yea, I get that.  I wonder how many prayers it takes to get to go up?”  Alex said “good question, I’m not sure.”  Adam followed with, “I think everybody is graded up there…….like if you did a bad thing that was rated a “bad” level of 4 then you need at least four prayers to get out.”  Alex said “Huh.  I guess that’s a good theory.  All I can say is that I hope I’m not bad at like a level 50 or something because I hate to wait around.”  Adam came back with “I don’t think you have to wait more than a year---even though there is no time up there.”  When Alex asked why, Adam told him it was “because on All Soul’s Day people on earth HAVE to pray for all of the people in purgatory and that’s a LOT of prayers Alex.”  I quit listening after Alex ended with “oh, so THAT’S what that day is for???  GOOD.  I HATE to wait around.”   And there my friends and family, was the birth of the idea for the  Christmas letter for 2015.  “Waiting around.”   Ralph Waldo Emerson once asked “how much of human life is lost in waiting?”  Had I been around when he posed that question I would have responded with “LOTS!”  Every year we all spend LOTS of time waiting around for this or that and this year was no different.   This year Alex turned 15.    He then began to wait to get his driving permit while I waited for my Xanax to kick in   He played hard and waited to earn a varsity  letter in tennis.    In the fall he waited to shower after each football game since I would not let him near other humans before he did so.   He waited to ask his girlfriend Abby to the Homecoming dance and then they waited to go.     James and I spent all of our time at home waiting for Alex to come out of his room and make an appearance.  We are lucky in that he has no natural sustainable food source in there and we can always wait for him to come out for a meal, or a snack, or a drink, or a bite of something------anything really.  He can eat his body weight in food daily and we continue to wait for his metabolism to slow down and for him to gain some actual weight.  We miss him.  We patiently wait for our sightings each day.   James spent the past 12 years waiting to build a deck on to the back of our home.  He is THRILLED to say that the wait is over.  WE both LOVE the new deck!! (that is almost complete)       I spent the year driving to airports and waiting for planes to take me to Washington D.C., Charlotte North Carolina, Orlando Florida, Newport Beach, California, Princeton, New Jersey and Denver, Colorado.  The boys joined me in Washington D.C. and we waited many times for the subway. We also waited to get into museums and onto tour busses.  We waited for a table at many restaurants and for someone to arrive with room service.  Finally, we waited to watch the fireworks from Washington D.C. on the 4th of July.  They all REALLY enjoyed it.    When I was not driving somewhere                    I was busy trying to place 23 graduate students in TWO internship sites EACH.  This took 8 whole months and when finished, there was cake to be shared!  (That is a record number coming out of our program in a single semester.)   Adam, waited to start day one of 6th grade and tolerated a picture I took with his principal.     He waited to be put in for a play or two in 6th grade football and he waited to FINALLY complete his dyslexia reading program!!!  That was a THREE year wait and worth every minute.  Adam has also waited a long time to be "student of the month" and he now has to wait no more!       Adam continues to wait for a phone and as much as we keep telling him that you have to have the word “teen” behind your age to have a phone in our house he continues to wait “loudly” as his days to teen-hood seem to crawl.  He waited for us to inevitably “inherit” another dog  (bringing the total herd up to THREE!!) He also continues to wait to grow up to be  JUST like his dad.   The Mary Immaculate boys basketball team waited ALL fall season to win just ONE game----which they did at the VERY END!!!    Currently we are waiting for the Mary Immaculate School Christmas program.  Adam will get to be “Joseph" this year.   (Quite the step up from the Christmas "sheep" he played last year.)    Sometimes waiting can be painful.  This year we waited for James’ mom to complete a course of cancer treatments.  In August we waited to say goodbye to her as she was sadly called "home."   We waited through my mom’s annual follow up oncology appointment and waited some more as my dad worked his way through his own cancer diagnosis.  All along, we were waiting for good news from both of them and we were grateful to receive it.  Since dad could not come up to visit on Thanksgiving, he waited for Molly and I to send him a selfie.   We waited for my step sister to move to Missouri with her husband and now I finally have a relative in my state!  We welcome Stacey and Tony to Missouri!   In October I waited to travel back home to celebrate my 30 year high school class reunion. I seriously had the BEST time!!!

While there I got to catch up with some of my friends from St. Edwards grade school!! SO FUN!!!!  (See reunion blog if interested).

Alex and Adam had fun waiting for their Michigan cousins to come for a visit in the ‘ville and at the lake.

 

A few weeks ago, we waited once again to take our annual Thanksgiving picture with our Illinois family.  (Arkansas and Iowa members were unable to be there.)  We patiently waited at the bottom of the stairs as my step-dead set the timer for his camera.  We didn’t have to wait long this year though because we got it in just one take. 

 

 As I look down at myself in that picture right in the middle of the whole gang I am grateful for all who can continue to join together to celebrate another year of blessings.  But I also notice that with each passing year there is another missing face or two. (And that picture is a blog I need to write all by itself------I’m waiting to find the time).   This year we missed Bobo who was called home and was one of the founding mothers of our group. I would happily wait around for anything and everything forever if in doing so it meant we could keep everyone together for longer. I hate waiting to say goodbye and have a strict policy of NEVER doing so.  I simply say “see ya later, or soon, or next year…...” 

I should close this year’s letter now as I still have much to do to prepare to host Christmas.  I am waiting to plan the meals, to finish wrapping the presents, to find an appropriate outfit for the boys to wear to mass and on and on and on.

If you happen to find yourself in our area over the holidays, please take a minute to stop by.  We will gladly pull up a chair, pour you a drink and hand you a plate of food.  C’mon over anytime.  We’ll be waiting………..

 

Merry Christmas!