My life today: The year 2018: From Charles Dickens “other” Christmas story......

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

The year 2018 proved to be a time of tremendous emotional chaos for the title characters in my small but mighty nuclear family story. Sometimes the chaos was beautiful. Other times it was terrifying with dizzying descents into dark and scary valleys and difficult, seemingly never-ending climbs back to normalcy. It feels like we’ve lived an entire lifetime in the past year. Like everything we experienced in the past 12 months was but a snapshot of most aspects of real life. It has been a time of coming together and slowly letting go. There were grand celebrations never to be forgotten. There was also great pain that would test us our bonds of love, patience, and understanding. Finally, there was an unforgettable, most meaningful pilgrimage.

I spent the spring feeling like I was desperately clinging to a passenger train careening at a thousand miles an hour head long into the dreaded future of change. I didn’t like it, this train. I had no control over its overwhelming speed and progression. All I knew was that I wanted off.

However, hitting the eject button, as you already know, is never an option. Not when other souls depend on your ability to press on and guide them through the uncertainty of new situations and the pain experienced from clawing your way back from serious illness. So, on we went the four of us. Sometimes desperately sticking to each other with white-knuckles and occasionally heading in the opposite direction and effectively running away from each other. Yet, here we are. Intact. Together. Ready to say goodbye to one year in our lives and hello to another.

In May we celebrated an important weekend filled with closing final chapters and beginning new ones. One of us is even starting his very own book, taking tentative steps away from the family novel that we started as a young foursome but hopefully still making frequent guest appearances in the original story line.

Adam turned 14 in May and graduated with the rest of his tiny class from Mary Immaculate Catholic School. He finished 8th grade which ended our presence in that microscopic albeit wonderful and safe place. It was really a place of extended familial relationships as much as an institution of early and pre-adolescent learning. Most of those kids have been together since kindergarten and this fall would be the first time they were all separated. We loved every minute of our time in that happy place. Adam learned many life lessons as lead by caring and loving people. Always with faith as the foundation. He spent the summer going to high school football practice and daily workouts while meeting new kids we all hope will prove to be good friends. He celebrates making “important decisions” like what he will wear each day and enjoys the “freedom” of being able to switch classes, classmates and teachers every hour. He is trying his hand at self discipline as we try to back off a little and let him feel his way through managing a new schedule complete with new deadlines and expectations. He loves it. And he hates it. It involves more freedom but also more work which can be confusing to a 14 year old boy. We love his sense of humor, his insecurities and his genuine love of life and people.

Congratulations from Monsignor

The Three Musketeers

8th Grade Graduation Class

Aunt Molly and Adam at his graduation party

The same weekend in May saw our oldest son Alex graduating from high school. Many of my close friends have already been through this milestone but this was new territory for us. I hate that I blinked that day back in the year 2000 when he was first born because moments later, here we were. I wandered through the weekend in a dream like state while organizing and participating in celebration after celebration. I still can’t quite get my mind around the level of change that has occurred in our family dynamic now that they are both out of grade school and one no longer lives at home during the school year. It's all just so……..different. I think I finally may be slowly getting used to it, this new short-term normal until the next one leaves the safety of home for his new life in a few years.

Group Graduation party

All Lined Up and Ready to Go...

The rowdy cheering section (and James LOL)

Diploma in Hand

I love this picture. It's Alex's first grade teacher writing college advice to him at his party

In June we had the privilege of traveling to Rome for a week. We lodged with the School Sisters of Notre Dame (SSND) as a guest of our good friend Sister Ruth Ann. There were many highlights of that trip which included a Vatican Tour, an up close and personal experience with the pope, touring too many churches to count, hanging out at the Forum, the Colosseum and the Pantheon, catacombs tours and many days spent in side splitting laughter as we attempted to navigate our way around the city on busses, trains, subways and taxi cabs without speaking a word of Italian. We had the BEST time!

Long Flight

After an hour of being totally lost, the Trevi Fountain!

Boys enjoying the sunset on Sister's deck

Gelato everyday!

A funny thing happened on the way to the.....

Spanish Steps

Sistine Chapel

At the Generalate...they are DONE smiling

Every night there was a new story to share with Sister

Sunset over Sister's deck

Adam ponders Rome

Earning their keep by doing dishes with Sister

Inside the Colosseum

Palatine Hill

Colosseum tour break

Sleepy tourists

I let them be in charge......"where are we?"

Forum

Inside the Pantheon

Outside the SSND House with Sister

We took a day trip to Venice which was a definite highlight of the trip and a destination that we cannot wait to get back to and explore further.

Hanging out in Venice

Gondola ride

Lunch outside in Venice

Gondola "driver"

Heading out into the channel

The "Parking Lot"

For me though, the most meaningful part of the trip involved a pilgrimage to Padua, Italy which is St. Anthony’s old stomping ground. Most of us think of St. Anthony as the patron Saint of lost articles which resonates with me due to the fact that at any given moment I am without my glasses, car keys, credit card, shoes, mind…….. But there’s more to my favorite Saint so feel free to look him up. His feast day is June 13 which happens to also be my birthday. This year, I awoke on my birthday at the SSND Generalate House, hopped a train and got within handshake distance from the pope himself. Following THAT amazing event we rushed out of the Vatican and hopped several other trains (getting lost and touring the Italian countryside for hours on the wrong train) finally arriving in Padua in the early evening in time to catch the feast day activities which included following a larger than life size statue of St. Anthony being paraded around the streets of the village and winding up back in the shrine where his actual relics and tomb are. I’m tellin' y’all it was straight out of The Godfather. It was AMAZING. James ran blocker for me as I tried to get close enough to the statue to kneel in front if it. (You have no idea how vicious little old Italian Catholic women can be—who knew?!) It was an experience on my birthday/his feast day that I will NEVER forget. Aside from the fact that James’ luggage was not delivered to him the entire time we were in Rome, it was an unforgettable trip filled with heartwarming moments of togetherness as a little family. It was the best of times…………

Sky over Vatican City on my Birthday

I was THIS close....this is not zoomed in!

On one of several trains trying to get to Padua

St. Anthony's Shrine

We were scheduled to go to Alaska in July rounding out our celebratory graduation adventures but that trip was not meant to be as the universe had other plans.

In early July, James fell off of a roof and broke his back. He broke T12 and burst L1. He was life flighted to Columbia where they monitored him closely and fit him into a brace. A few days later after much “conversation” with his physician James was discharged to a rehab facility to re-train his Right leg to actually ambulate. He did a great job relearning to walk and faithfully followed all of the therapists' instructions. Several weeks later they let him go home and while still in significant pain, he was able to start the school year with his new 8th grade class. But the pain never lessened. It was the worst of times……….

"The" X-Ray

Our Wing at the Hospital

First Time in Brace

Transfer to Rehab

Re-learning to walk

Up in chair

Practicing getting out of bed

James says they gave him this wrist band a little late......

Often needing to call on his inner Yoda

Building sitting stamina

Building standing stamina

In between therapies

Building upper body strength

Much needed visit from the boys

A distraction from pain when standing

Practicing getting in a vehicle

Finally Going Home

We cannot thank our friends and family enough for all of the support they provided through this awful time.

In mid July James’ brother Jerry flew in to sit with him in rehab so I could attend my sister’s wedding. It was a beautiful event and such a welcome relief to spend time with family in laughter, love and dance.

Alex gets recruited to serve at the wedding

Sis

All fancy

The siblings

I love laughing THIS hard

The boys and aunt Molly getting down

Missy and Molly

Which one is the priest?

Not quite complete without James

The wedding party

Molly and the boys

In early August we moved Alex to the University of Missouri, Science and Technology in Rolla MO where he began a course of study in engineering management. He quickly developed a set of very close friends who he has come to rely upon during all of the ups and downs that freshman year of college brings. We are so grateful for each of them who has held him together in times of stress and conflict when we could not be there.

All packed and ready....

Move-in Bling

His own pizza place in town

Uncle Tony helps with the heavy lifting

James made it!

The room

Grandpa Bob and Grandma Sue

Day one.....

We traveled back to Rolla in October for Homecoming and had fun embracing Alex, laughing with him and surrounding him with support and love.

Grandpa Jim and Grandpa Ginny

Alex giving us the tour

Rolla will never be the same

Molly made me take this

Aunt Molly made these super cool buttons

Bookstore fun

We made him claim us for one weekend

Other things happened this year. We went to Florida for Spring Break, I traveled to the University of California and Boston for work, our basement flooded, we visited my mom’s new house for Thanksgiving where their kitchen flooded, we took in the musical Samson in Branson, Adam ran track, Alex finished out his high school tennis career, we visited the Budweiser Clydesdale breeding farm, we took in the Fantastic Caverns Cave and on and on. Life just happened.

Adam running track

Cave Tour

Gotta love a cave tour while riding in a jeep

Alex's Birthday in Florida

Adam chillin' in Florida

Dinner in Florida

Alex turns 18

Grandpa Jim and Grandma Ginny at Florida celebration

James relaxin' in Florida in March (Not sure his back will ever do this again)

Celebrating James birthday in Florida

Alex at Samson

Adam at Samson

Clydesdale Farm

Beautiful Place

Adam at Clydesdale Farm

Alex Senior Year Tennis

Varsity Tennis

Varsity tennis guys at mom's lake condo during tourney time

The basement floods (what else can happen this year?)

Flood damage

We must bring floods with us (This one at mom's new house)

Fun in Boston with my girls

Boston professionals

Ready for college

Adam's first day of High School and wearing contacts!

Which brings me to the current few weeks. The pain from James' broken back just never lessened. Not being one to rely on narcotics, for the past several months he chose not to take any of the heavy stuff as a trade off to be able to drive and teach. The spine just never healed while he was in the brace. In early December James had neurosurgery to get rods and screws drilled into his spine in an effort to tame the beast of agony he has been living with for the past 5 months. We are hopeful that he will make a (mostly) full recovery and can go back to being the man he was before pain stole his happiness, his hobbies and his way of life. He is currently home recuperating for a month.

Ready to roll

Our most expensive Christmas photo shoot ever

From the side

A week later I found myself back in Columbia as Adam had all four wisdom teeth removed.

Pre procedure

Minus four teeth

As I sit and complete this blog this afternoon I am hopeful for the year 2019. At mass recently we were told to be hopeful for the coming of our Savior in a few weeks. It is with that hope that I look forward to a blessed Christmas season spent with family and friends and a healthy new year. Our family wishes each of you the same. Merry Christmas.