According to AI, an "Irish goodbye" (or "Irish exit") is the act of leaving a party or social gathering without formally saying goodbye to the host or other guests. Often used to avoid drawn-out, emotional farewells or to bypass awkward social pressure to stay, it is considered a practical, quiet, and increasingly accepted, non-rude, or even polite, way to leave a place.
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I did a “thing” today.
I quietly slipped out of the office.
After 34 years, I retired.
I also attended my last CMDS faculty meeting. Give or take ten or so, it was my 918th meeting. We accomplished a lot in those 73,440 minutes. For one of those minutes I considered staying another 3 years so that I could hit an even 1000 but that seemed excessive.
When I was a little girl my grandmother used to call me “instant tears.” I cried every single time we pulled out of the drive way to their house. As an adult I would cry as James and I backed out of my parent’s driveway. I also cry every time my Christmas guests leave (immediately before I take a nap) It was apparent from very early in my life that I am terrible at “goodbyes.” So, in a completely childish way, I refuse to say it. It doesn’t feel good and I don’t like it so I simply don’t do it.
I actually had to adopt this “never say goodbye” policy early in my professional career as the world of academia is filled with people arriving and leaving every five months. Give or take another ten or so I have clinically supervised north of 800 students and placed more than 225 interns in their school and medical rotations. If I had to say goodbye to all of those people I would be bed bound and on very heavy medication.
If you have ever had any sort of relationship with me, the door is always open. If I had my way, I would stay in touch or in some way connected to everyone I have ever had a relationship with (professional or otherwise). To those people not in my life I can honestly say it has been by their choice because like I said, I don’t say “goodbye.”
Early on people began to ask me how I wanted to celebrate this milestone and I kept thinking that I didn’t. After careful consideration of the timing and after some clearly received signs from God that I had been praying for I made the decision that it was time to leave the job that I have mostly loved all of my adult life. I am laying down the title of “director of clinical education” with very mixed emotions. James has been counting down for me for months and honestly every time he would announce how many days I had left I got just a little more nauseous.
Hence, my decision to just sort of slip out of the office without the typical fanfare.
I would feel remiss however, if I failed to give a proper nod of genuine thanks to the many individuals that helped to raise me in academia. In no particular order,
My thanks go to Dr. John Applegate for calling me up on that hot summer day in 1992 and asking me to come and interview for a new job they were creating. He also taught me how to become comfortable traveling for professional reasons and that I always needed to be able to carry whatever I packed all by myself. I give him additional thanks for bringing me a flower and card today!
My thanks go to Barb Kline who taught me that it was okay to pray for our students and clients and even okay to keep some Holy Water stashed in my desk drawer for emergencies.
My thanks go to Dr. Paula Cochran who taught me the rules of professional presentations including the importance of matching my outfit with my slides.
My thanks go to the late Dr. Kees Koutstaal for teaching me how to professionally answer a phone (the hard way).
My thanks go to the late Dr. Ken McGuire who taught me that it can make a real difference when you invite a student to go to the union for a chat and a soda.
My thanks go to Dr. Paul Hunt who taught me that men and women think and communicate very differently when it comes to just about everything.
My thanks go to Connie Ikerd for serving as the constant force of super glue that holds a program and clinic together.
My thanks go to Dr. Janet Gooch for teaching me the importance of always having a professional and/or personal goal as it keeps one moving forward.
My thanks go to Dr. Amy Teten for providing such an excellent example of how to lead in a calm and inclusive way. (Just like I knew she would).
My thanks go to Dr. Julia Edgar for her steady and often maternal presence and infectious love of research.
My thanks go to Dr. Megan Batzer who can brighten any space with just a smile and who models gratitude in a beautiful way.
My thanks go to Jillian Pulis and Samantha Bishop for carrying the department forward with new energy.
My thanks go to Dr. Ilene Elmlinger who carried me through many days and nights in the “dark and twisty” places and who made me genuinely laugh out loud every. single. day.
My thanks go to Trish Hanson for serving as my go-to phono person for every single student I ever sent her way. She also gets my sincerest thanks for supervising Adam for many years to get him to an above grade reading level with his dyslexia.
My thanks go to all of the professional colleagues who believed in me enough to take a chance on me at ASHA and MSHA as I tried my hand at professional leadership. I learned a ton and had the time of my life.
My thanks go to Todd Philbrick and Gretchen Ehret Hoshaw at ASHA for always answering my “cry for help” texts and for being great humans and personal friends.
My thanks go to every prayer partner in my life who have prayed when called upon whenever I was having trouble getting a placement. Your prayers worked! I was able to get everyone their clock hours (mostly) on time including during COVID!
Finally, my deepest thanks go to the countless students over the years who taught me much more than I gave them. Thank you for your kindness, your patience with my tangents and your beautiful willingness to learn from me. You can message me anytime and I will still try and get you an answer.
I’m not going anywhere. James will continue to work until he feels his “Mary Immaculate Mission” has been completed. (And actually, I need to thank him as well. He held the house and boys together for many years as I traveled professionally, always provided a willing ear every time I came home with a another clinic crisis and is the only reason I can afford to retire at this age due to him now carrying me on his health insurance. I thank him also for the beautiful (purple) flowers that he sent today. He too gets my many thanks.)
I’m not leaving the field and may even have a few more professional volunteer leadership roles left in me. I plan to continue to provide home health services locally and taking students as I do. I am also fairly certain I will continue to find ways to provide clinical instruction in one way or another.
One of these days a few of us that are still around will meet for a happy hour someplace where we will raise a glass to a job that I hope was mostly well done. But it wont be to say goodbye. It will never be to say goodbye.
So, for now, I will close in my typical semesterly way. I will see you at the graduation luncheon tomorrow. I will see you next week at the hooding. I will see you next year at MSHA. I will see you very soon.
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