Midlife total body and mind makeover: oh this oughta be good!

Okay friends, unlike my less-than-sunny disposition (acquired last Thursday, July 26, 2012 that held somewhat steady until this very moment) I am slowly working my way toward a better frame of mind. I have done a lot of thinking. I have done a lot of talking. I have even done some laughing. I am ready. According to my bitchy last post from just yesterday as I look at the calendar, I recently divulged my hatred toward the phrase "you never know what the future holds." While I still vehemently oppose the use of this phrase in my general vicinity, I WILL say that after speaking to some and laughing with others and a completely silent contemplative 3 hour drive home (in a TRUCK I had to drive no less), I am ready to admit one thing that I know for sure (as Oprah would say).

I can really only control ONE thing in my life. And as you probably all already know, the one thing I have ultimate control over, is myself. Hence, the birth of the "midlife total body and mind make over" coup.

For several months now, I have been telling James he needs to make me over into something "hot." We laugh together at this as he is not exactly a personal trainer but a middle school English teacher who is slowly losing his hair. (Don't tell him that, he will deny it to the end). The great piece to this is that he already thinks I'm "hot" and thank God for small favors because he is after all, the man I have been married to for nearly 15 years now. For years he has said that when I am 50 he is going to buy me my FAVORITE thing......a very fast, very sporty, very cool convertible to be driven by only the very "hot" at least in my mind.

Last week I had an experience which was reminiscent of a feeling I was very familiar with when I was younger......REJECTION! Trust me when I say, I honestly thought I had looooong outgrown the ability to feel that way so readily at another's hand. Let's just say, it's not something I'd like to soon if ever revisit, and leave it at that.

What will the midlife makeover consist of? I have NO IDEA but stay tuned because this girl is gonna knock it outta the park. I have no idea how long this will take me and I make no promises to that effect. But again, what I DO KNOW is that I can control the most important thing there is out there in the future.....and that's ME.

Lastly, I want to give a shout out and MANY thanks to Don who cut his evening with his parents short last week so he could talk me off the ledge via phone from his commute in his car, to Amy who answered a zillion or so texts on the topic, to James who once again, gave me his experiential advice about adveristy and life, to my sister who was just sorta "there" quietly in the background right where I needed her to be and her significant other "Lenny the Schneider" who sang and danced with me when I REALLY needed to laugh.

It has been a grueling 3 days and I am more than ready for a midlife (I turned 45 in June) makeover of body and mind. More to come, I am sure!

Sincerely, the one who is back in control.........