"You don't know what the future holds"---oh just shut up!

Twice over the past week two completely different people on as many separate occasions have felt the need to tell me "well you know Miss, no one knows what the future holds."

Why do people feel compelled to say this to me? Let's get something straight here. My baseline non-medicated attitude is that of a pessimist. This means if you tell me that you don't know what the future holds my brain immediately goes to

that phrase = something bad will happen

You see, people like me have to work EXTRA hard to combat the "glass is half empty" tendency. Tooooooo many times in my 45 years friends, lovers, co-workers and just fellow human beings have said to me (usually following some event which has caused me pain) "well yea, XYZ just happened BUT you never know what the future holds." I absolutely hate that and here's why:

When you say this to me, my pessimistic logic immediately goes to the negative side of the possibilities in the future. My brain NEVER sees the positive options. My head is broken in this sense. My thought patterns are simply NOT wired toward the positive pole. Here are some examples from my own life:

After getting dumped by a good friend or lover with whom I want more: "hey I just want to be friends (or even better), I want to have no-contact with you for now BUT, you never know what the future holds." My brain translates that into "ok, well I guess I'll never hear from him/her again" and "looks like I was not good enough for yet another homo sapien" which then quickly causes me to leap into my childhood abandonment phase where things emotionaly spiral down hill at an alarming clip.

After being told by a supervisor that I am only a staff member and not a faculty member and so therefore I am stuck in this pay scale and rank for the rest of my life BUT "who knows what will happen in the future." For me this translates into "you're STUCK sweetheart. Good luck with that and by the way, here is a whole lot of extra work for you to do for no additional money."

After losing an election for some post I really wanted : "Hello Melissa, I am sorry to inform you that you did not receive enough votes to serve as XYZ BUT keep trying because you never know what will happen in the future." My knee jerk response is "yea, I could lose again in the future. Can't wait."

After having a healthy result of a colonoscopy, the Dr. says " hey good news, all looks healthy BUT, keep a close eye on your colon because you never know what will happen in the future." Yea, what could happen in the future is that I could have a monster cancer in my colon and will have to endure all of the crap that is involved with attempting to kill it. THAT's what COULD happen in the future.

Look everybody: There is absolutely NO denying that I am a control freak. I want to be in control of what happens in the future. I abhore the option of "not knowing the future" because in the future that MY head lives in, all possible outcomes are crappy. Some would say it would just be easier to teach myself how to think positively. Believe me, I have tried. Too much has happened to my emotional self over the years to EVER warrant me consistently thinking positively about the future.

Do I still play the lottery? YES. I would consider it a cosmic slap in the face to win since negativity is my general disposition. I would soooooooo welcome that slap.

So world, unless you really DO INTEND to call me, text me, want me back in your life on a permanent basis, will give me a raise and compensate me appropriately for my contributions to the profession, will for sure elect me as the next leader of whatever and will most certainly find a cure for cancer, please please stop lulling me into a false sense of security that something "good" might happen in the future (which after all is what is implied by the whole statement)

Until I am proven wrong by someone or something that has hurt me that the contrary is in fact true, I will continue to view my glass as half empty and with water spots. (usually from my overly leaky eyes) Will I ever view the phrase as having positive outcomes? Frankly, I'm not optimistic about my odds.