A tale of two dads on the 4th of July

A year ago James and I travelled down to Arkansas for our annual summer visit to my father’s house on Lake Balboa in Hot Springs Arkansas. My sister Molly and her husband Kevin were with us as well as my aunt.  We participated in the annual lighted boat parade and had such a nice time! We later enjoyed watching the fireworks from the boat. We were also there to celebrate their (dad and Ginny’s) 40th wedding anniversary on July 4th which we did in style with our typical matching celebratory tee shirts.  We ate a lot.  We drank a lot.  We floated a lot.  We had a great time even though it was the first summer I was there without either son.  It was also the first and only summer where I unknowingly hugged my father goodbye for the last time.  God called him suddenly home on the first day of November last year. Last summer he said that he would be happy with any years that he lived passed 80.  He did not quite make it.

During that trip he spontaneously and uncharacteristically crossed the dining room to hug me and say “I just like you so much.”  I carry that memory with me everyday just like I carry his Holy Trinity necklace around my neck everyday.  I loved that 4th of July. I loved him.

The view is a little different this year.  My other dad (my sister likes to refer to him as our “bonus” dad) is lying in a hospital bed after having aortic valve replacement and triple bypass surgery two days ago.  He is 82 years old. The days have been long and not without setbacks but he is still here and with us so far.  He talks about maybe watching the fireworks on tv and I hope he is awake to do so as he is frequently and understandably often asleep.  It’s slow time but I’m trying to value every minute because I now understand what it looks like to live with grief.  I can no longer take the days of having 4 parents for granted.  

So, here I sit on the 5th floor of OSF.  Watching not the fireworks tonight but rather watching him breathe and clutch his heart pillow when he needs to cough.  Appreciating every breath I get to witness.  Appreciating the important gift of time spent together.

“Oh Beautiful, for glory-tale

Of liberating strife

When once and twice for man’s avail

Men lavished precious life”