Christmas Letter 2014---F2Q!!

Merry Christmas!!  If you have made your way over to this site you must have either 1.  Received a Facebook notice that my letter was out or 2. Received your Christmas card stating that our letter was located here.  Congratulations!  You made it!  Happy Reading!  (WARNING:  It's LONG!----Grab a beverage and a comfortable place to sit!)

Before I get into the real meat of my Christmas letter I need to briefly report  that our year has been a good one with LOTS of travel!!  We are blessed in so many wonderful ways!  We got to have a variety of wonderful family adventures but unfortunately, we rarely if ever got to take our dogs with us.  One day, Lucy, our springer spaniel, showed us she was ready to be included  in the family travels by getting into the car and sitting behind me.  I was VERY startled when I caught her in my rear view mirror!

In March we went to Southern Florida and saw the everglades with my parents (all four of them) who were “Wintering” there.  (In Florida, not the everglades specifically)  We spent some time at the beach......

While there Adam talked to exotic birds,

 and Alex contemplated the meaning of life as a teen.

We also went deep sea fishing where I happily did NOT get sick but REALLY considered it.

In March Alex turned 14

And decided to try his hand at television broadcasting

In April we went to Disney with our friend Don. 

 I had my picture taken with my pretend boyfriend Andy Griffith

and the boys were pretend scuba divers.  

A good time was had by all.

In May Alex graduated from 8^th grade at Mary Immaculate grade school.  We were very proud of him but a little sad that this chapter of his life was coming to a close.  He was literally "out the door" and on to bigger things. 

Later that month we took him to New York as a graduation present.  You could hardly tell we were tourists.

Also in May, Adam turned 10 and he and his friends entered the witness protection program.

Over the summer we took a trip to the Wisconsin Dells to celebrate all of the graduations that the cousins on my side were experiencing. 

It was great fun to see everyone from all over and especially nice to get my dad together with his two sisters.

We enjoyed picture perfect days in Arkansas while visiting my dad in early August.

Later in August I took Adam to see some friends in Omaha where we took in the zoo.  He got in touch with his wild side...........

And his softer side.

James' brother Jeff came back from China and we were fortunate to be able to all visit a little.

I spent lots of time working in Maryland at this place.

Both boys played football for Kirksville this fall.

“Honey” our chocolate lab trained us to put a cookie in her dish when she brings it upstairs to us.

I attended a conference in Salt Lake City and got to hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir rehearse.  (Yea, put THAT on your bucket list!)

In November we went back to Disney with my friend Amy

and 4 teen agers plus Adam.

The castle at Christmas is kind of amazing---just sayin.

This year at Mary Immaculate’ s Christmas program the theme was Christmas Around the World and Adam was a Christmas goat…… seriously.

Which brings us to now and the REAL reason for this year’s letter.

At the opening I stated that we were blessed in many ways this year and it was not at all even mostly related to travel.  I need to say, I LOVE my family.  I am SO LUCKY to have a VERY FUNNY group of people to be related to.  While we are not “traditional” in an old school nuclear style sense, we are in my opinion-----even BETTER than that.

I come from a divorced set of parents.  They have both been remarried to other people for over 25 years and they ALL get along!!!  When I tell this story to others they often seem surprised.  “What do you mean you spent Thanksgiving with your mom and step dad and his ex wife and her husband?”

 That’s just “normal” for us…..  honestly-----and it’s GREAT.  To their credit, everyone shows up for family events and genuinely has a good time together!!!

Sometime earlier this year my sister started a family texting “tradition.”  It started spontaneously as most traditions seem  to do.  She decided to send out a "F2Q" which stands for “Family Friday Question.”  She sends this out to her significant other, me and James, my mom and her husband, my dad and his wife and my aunt.  We all live in different places (Missouri, Illinois, Iowa and Arkansas) and many of us frequently travel so we are seldom all together in the same place outside of holidays and special events.  However, we all really like each other and have a very good time when we DO get together.  For several months now, each Friday we get together “virtually” in text form as my sister throws  out a question while we all respond and “talk” in this way every week.  Sometimes they are short exchanges and others go on all night or weekend.  We share pictures of what we are doing and the conversations can quickly become hysterical. 

I had no idea what to write about this year until the F2Q event happened this week.  I decided that this year I would share a little of what our family conversations have been like since last summer. Sort of a “best of” or “highlights" reel  if you will.  To protect the names of the innocent (or guilty) I will award everyone titles.  Our players include: "husband" (mine), "sister" (mine), sister’s significant other whom we will call “boyfriend,” "mom" (mine) "dad" (mine) "mom2" (my dad’s wife), "dad2" (my mom’s husband) and "aunt"  (mine). Please note that these exchanges can get a little confusing as my mom and dad sometimes refer to their mom and dad.  Feel free to take your leave now.  You are under NO obligation to read all of this as I am including these exchanges as much for us as I am for you my dear reader.  Here’s why I LOVE my mixed up, remarried, geographically scattered, totally FUN family:

From July 11…………………….

Sister:  F2Q!!

“I heard a barge go by on the river last night.  I haven’t heard that engine sound in a long time.  Reminds me of dad’s house on the river when we were young.  SO, F2Q is: what sound that you hear reminds you of childhood even now when you hear it?  Mine are engines and trains.”

Dad:  “Great Question”

Sister:  “Trains from our yellow house bedroom at night.”

Mom: “The sound of trains… growing up on Ridgely Ave I heard train whistles blowing almost every night.  Dad2’s is the sound of houses being built or roofs hammered on---he heard that a lot growing up.”  (Editor’s note:  my step father does not have a smart phone that allows him to group message so my mom relays all of his responses). 

Dad:  “The smell of newly mowed grass sometimes brings back memories of when I rode my bike around Chillicothe as a kid dragging a lawn mower behind.  I got $1.25 a yard.”

Mom:…..also the sound of low flying planes…our house was on the landing flight path for the airport.  Also…when the tornado siren goes off now I always remember it being tested as the air raid siren in the late 50s and early 60s and how frightened we all were wondering when/if it would be for real and not a test. Ohh…the smell of newly tarred roofs or streets takes me back to childhood!”

Boyfriend: “Since every answer I have is already taken I will add the sound of combines harvesting corn by us and the sound of a school bus accelerating.”

Dad:  “New fallen snow.  Don’t see much of that in Arkansas.  After a snow fall, dad would drag me around on a sled tied to the back of our 1950 Chevy with a 6 ft long rope.  Had the car exhaust right on my face.  I coughed a lot.  Used to slide under the car when he braked.”

Mom:  “Every time dad2 gets a text message a doorbell chimes and it always reminds me of the Gilette Blueblade song from the 50’s or earlier—that commercial from the Friday night radio and t.v. flights:  “to look sharp every time you shave, to feel sharp and be on the ball, just be sharp…use Gilette Blue Blades for the quickest shave of all  Taa Daaaa!”

Me:  “An old fashioned ring tone----always reminds me of gramma Fulton’s phone which then reminds me of them being on the phone at the same time with one of them on the “extension.”  They would call us up and then talk to each other.

Mom:  “LOL, I remember that.  Sometimes I would just put my phone down on the table and let them talk to each other awhile and I’d come back on later.”

Mom2:  “Had a message log jam.  Everything dumped at once.  Sorry I’m late. Before I was 10 we lived near Germantown.  The CAT proving grounds was next to our farm.  All night long in the summer when the windows were open I could hear the machinery.  I still remember that sound.  I also remember the smell of pigs YUCK!  CAT bought our farm to expand the proving grounds.  We moved to Chillicothe and bought another farm. “

Sister:  “Great mom2!  Where are Missy and husband and aunt?”

Mom:  “Missy chimed in twice.  Husband might be on his way to the lake with the boys.”

Aunt: “Here I am.  Just getting settled in at home.  I can remember the smell of rain in the pink bedroom with the window open that I had.  Mom never hardly ever used the AC.  I can remember staying all night at Monie and grandpa’s and the train going by and shaking the trinkets Monie had on a shelf unit.  I bet the fish that dad set up for grandpa Wigand shook in the tank. I also remember the smells of the steak fry cookouts at the casting club.  The Coons, Jarmens, Monie, grandpa, Cecil, Bernice, Fosters, Laura Jean and Wig.” (Editor’s note:  Those are REAL people’s names!!  LOL)

Aunt:  “Mom and dad’s old green phone on the wall----no private conversations.”

Dad:  “Very nice aunt.  You didn’t mention riding on the cross bars of my bike.  I peddled you all over town.”

Mom:  “I remember Monie’s fish tank and how baby Missy used to be fascinated with the fish.”

Aunt: “Oh man yes that’s right and you and me and when (other sister and her husband) were first dating at the Valley Lakes Country club and we all went there to swim and picnic at the lake.”

Dad:  “good one.”

Aunt:  “When did you and dad start working on that boat kit? I remember dad having a huge 50 gallon barrel with water and you got to put the motor in to work on it and start it up.

Dad: “1970ish.  Mom would remember”

Mom:  “What boat kit?  I remember the boat dad and I had in the 70s. Was the boat kit grandpa’s?”

Aunt:  “Grandpa Wigand loved having Missy come over.  She and I played this game I had where you would put these plastic balls in the slots and there was a timer to set and it went off.  I used to help Missy pick up the colored balls and we had only so much time to get all the balls in the right tubes.  He laughed and laughed sitting on of those old metal lawn chairs.”

Aunt: “Yes, I think it was mom and dad’s but they built it (the boat) in dad’s garage.”

Mom:  “Now THAT’S a good memory.”

Dad:  “The boat we bought was a partnership with RW.  Dad bought out RW.  That boat was not a kit.”

Mom:  “I have no memory of that but then, lots of the early 70s are a blur J”

Mom: “Was that the same boat we had right before the motorcycle?”

Aunt: “Grandpa Wigand gave me 50 cents to clean the birdbath and sweep off the grass on the sidewalk and I would run across the railroad tracks to Ben Franklin and buy penny candy.”

Sister: “LOVE this F2Q!”

Dad: “No, it was a different boat.”

Mom:  Whatever happened to RW? His first ex wife lives around the corner from us”

Dad:  “RW is in Chilli and doing fine. Dinner has arrived.  Talk later.”

Sister: “We are at River Beach Pub with 15 friends for no reason other than its Friday.  We may close it down. If we can hang as long as dad!”

Aunt: “It seemed like a kit as much as you and dad worked on it.”

Sister: “Smith’s are here BTW.  Only the coolest cats…..”

Aunt:  “Are you at last chance restaurant?”

Dad: “Say hi to Smiths.”

Sister: “Done”

Dad: “yes, we are at last chance by boat tonight.”

Mom: “Just loved Ben Franklin……used to buy my embroidery supplies from there…….and the 2 little girls (missy and sister) some penny candy.  Walked in there pushing Missy in the stroller when I was pregnant with sister.  Tripped on the ice and fell one time and was afraid for a while I had hurt sister.”

Sister: “So THAT explains what’s wrong with me!!! Thanks mom!”  And Y’all said it was my blonde hair----right!”

Mom:  “Ahahah----nothin wrong with you----you survived with flying colors.”

Aunt:  “Sister was a happy baby.”

Sister: “Still happy!  And getting fat.  Fat and happy!  Yeppert!”

Mom:  “Used to sit in that wooden high chair and lap up those greenbeans….called her beanie for years after that.”

Me: “Sixlets----the penny candy mom let me buy at the dime store.  I can still remember the glass bin.”

Aunt: “And they had the roasted peanuts and the horse to ride out front!!  They also sold fish supplies and gold fish.”

Husband: “A Beagles bark.  Two of our dogs had puppies at the same time bringing our grand total to 28 at the time---my brother and I got to take naps with the puppies in the back yard…………. nothing like little puppies before their eyes open and they just kinda eat and sleep.  Kinda like Adam now that I think of it.”

Dad: “So Adam reminds you of beagles and beagles remind you of Adam?”

Husband: “yep.”

Dad: “yep.”

Mom: “Ohhhhhhh I forgot all about the dime store!! Dimestore horse-----the kids always begged to ride on that horse.  And next door to that there was another store that always put a lot of toys in the window at Christmas---a hardware store maybe.”

AND ALL OF THAT “CONVERSATION” HAPPENED AFTER ONLY ONE QUESTION!!!  It went on for HOURS off and on. LOVE THESE PEOPLE!!!!  HERES ANOTHER THREAD………………..

From August 15…………………………………

Sister:  “F2Q!!!”

Sister:  “I’ve been on a 9 day diet so the question is:  What’s your most desired food or what would you choose for a last meal if you ever had to make that decision?”

Dad:  “Mom2’s pizza”

Mom2:  “Chicken and noodles with my homemade noodles I haven’t made them in a long time---since my last trip to Hawaii.  Somebody there likes them also.”

Sister:   “Mom’s homemade tuna noodle casserole or her spaghetti sauce.  Seafood pasta is up there too.”

Aunt:  “Monnie’s homemade chicken and noodles.”

Mom:  “Thanks sister.  Those are three of my favorites too….but I also love my own pizza and Missy’s roast recipe which she says was originally mine…..and any meal that includes your potato salad.”

Me:  “Ditto sister plus mom2’s meat loaf.”

Aunt:  “Mom made a good spaghetti sauce that she made in her pressure cooker.”

Sister:  “Pressure cookers scare me.”

Mom:  “And in the afterlife I hope I get to eat my dad’s fried chicken again served with mom’s skroodles…..haven’t been able to duplicate these even with the recipes.  Ohhhh and I love oyster dressing.”

Aunt:  “Ok, I haven’t had mom2’s homemade noodles or pizza and I haven’t had mom’s homemade seafood pasta.  You girls ae holding out on me!”

Sister:  “Ok, not the best question to ask while dieting!”  Doh!!!!”

Aunt:  “Mom and dad also had a good BBQ sauce that dad used when grilling chicken

Dad: “Dad grilling chicken!  Good memories!”

Me:  “YESSSSSSSSSS Oyster dressing!!”

Mom:  “Dad2 says ALL OF THE ABOVE----HE LOVES TO EAT EVERYBODY’S BEST DISHES-----PLUS a 2” filet, medium from French toast restaurant at the lake with a pot of au gratin potatoes from the Lariat Club in Peoria with a lettuce wedge from Mel’s diner in Cape Coral.  The delivery charge on that meal should be interesting.”

Mom2:  “We’re hungry now.   I’m heating up left over Mexican stuff from a few days ago but need to clean out fridge.”

Me: “Yea, French toast!”

Aunt:  “Oh yes, it was an old one back in the day.  The grill could lower and raise to and from the coals.  It was green and had only 2 wheels and the only one I ever remember them having.  And grilling was done only on Saturday and Sunday.”

Mom:  “Making a pizza and salad here and sugar free rhubarb cake later.”

Dad:  “Because we had pot roast and boiled potatoes every night but Friday,  tuna fish casserole that night.  Ugh.”

Me:  I love mom’s tuna casserole.  But with NOOOOOOO peas!!!”

Sister:  “What?  TNC=YUMM! I’d also have like 12 deviled eggs at my meal.  That would be a strange combo in the tummy though.   But hey, last meal---so who cares?!”

Aunt:  “Well there was that also!  But mom switched it up with salmon patties.”

Me:  “Pasta salad”

Mom:  “Missy you also used to spit out your Gerber peas too.”

Me: “I DISGUISE peas!”

Aunt:  “LOVE PEAS!”

Sister:  “Missy’s pasta salad or Ruby Tuesday’s pasta salad from their salad bar.  And a ton of Italian dressing from Pizza Hut!”

Me:  “Dad and Aunt will get that.  Ditto sister.”

Sister:  “Love peas.”

Me: “Hurl”

Sister:  “Pfet”

Dad:  “No peas for me please.”

Sister:  “No lima beans!”

Aunt:  “Love Ruby Tuesday Salad bar but we don’t have one in the quad cities any longe.r”

Mom:  “Did you mean DESPISE peas?  Or did you actually disguise them?  If so, as what?  Make them taste like something else?  Bury them under ketchup?”

Sister:  “Peoria’s closed too.”

Aunt:  “OMG   LOVE lima beans.”

Me:  “We have Ruby here in the ville.”

Sister:  “Puke.”

Me:  “Mom, I was making an Alex joke.”

Aunt:  “Liver was buried under ketchup with gulps of milk to wash it down.  YUCK.”

Sister:  Jello!!  Speaking of jello---lime jello squares!  Add that to my list.”

Me:  “He said he disguised mowing last week.”

Sister:  “Liver, total puke!”

Me:  “Hurl---liver AND Lima!!”

Dad:  “What she said”

Sister:  “Liver is only good for one thing…..”

Me:  “Orange jello with oranges and cool whip.”

Aunt:  “Mom and dad liked liver and onions and stunk up the house.”

Mom:  “LOVE a liverwurst sandwich on soft white bread with cucumbers and miracle whip----one of my comfort foods------nummmmy”

Me:  “OMG---projectile vomiting now!!”

Sister:  “All these puke foods----helping the diet now!!”

Aunt:  “OMG, Sherry LOVES liverwurst.”

Mom:  “I make a liverwurst and cream cheese crackera that she would probably like”

Aunt:  “Double EWWWWWWW”

Sister:  “What is crackera?”

Mom:  “And smoked oysters….could eat the whole tin by myself!  Which I usually do as no one else can stand them!”

Aunt:  “Sherry said she would like that.  Her favorite meal is fried chicken, mashed potatoes and corn like her grandmother made on the farm.”

Sister:  “And everyone thinks I’m part cat???”

Aunt:  “Crackera is Missy’s bologna sandwich spread”

Mom:  “Crackera is Polish for cracker.”

Aunt:  “Ewwwwww Oysters, yuck”

Mom:  “Also like oguerkis (spelling?)---polish pickles.”

Aunt:  “Galletas—Spanish fort crackera.  Krakersy—polish for crackers.  Ogorki—polish for pickle.”

Sister:  “Polly----English for want a cracker?”

Aunt:  “ROFLMAO”

Boyfriend:  “Have to go with mom’s sea food pasta.  My tenderloin and my spiced up venison burgers stuffed with pepper jack cheese are climbing the list.  One good thing that I always crave is fried chicken.”

Sister:  “Everyone please e-mail each other your recipes  for your favs that were mentioned today.  Thanks.  I’ll send the potato salad one tonight to get the ball rolling!”

Out of a courtesy to you the reader, I will leave many of our text threads out of this letter.  Some question threads that I have omitted include:

"We are at the lake for the boat races this weekend.  What’s the fastest you’ve ever drivin’ any motorized thing?"

“With all these famous folks dying recently, whom among the famous are you happy is still alive?”

“With fall almost here, what is your favorite ”Fall” thing you are looking forward to?”

“Name the two best things that happened to you in the past two weeks.”

 ”Where would you NOT go back to for a vacation?”

“What one song from your past immediately makes you smile when you hear it and why?”  (Editor’s note:  This thread included utube links that were HILARIOUS!)

“Its mom2’s birthday………  What’s one of your favorite mom2 memories?”

“Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met?”

“What is the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?”

“What are your top two all time favorite Halloween candy choices?”

As we moved forward to later in the year my sister starting assigning Fridays to the rest of us so we could make up a question.  Some of ours included:

“What is the highest jump height a dog would have to jump in a competition?  (from aunt working at a dog show one Friday)”

“What was the first tv show you remember watching as a child?” (from my mom)

“If you could have a conversation with ANYone  alive or dead---who would it be and what would you ask?” (from dad2)

 From October 3………………………………………………………………………….

Sister:  “F2Q!”

Dad:  “Ready”

Sister: “Since dad and mom2 are enjoying the world’s largest fire ant mound at their coach rally my question is:  What insect do you despise most?”

Mom2:  “Spiders of course”

Aunt: “Those beetles that come in every fall and STINK”

Dad:  “Scorpions”

Mom2: “Yes, I know.  A spider is technically not an insect.  Close enough!”

Sister:  “June bugs:  Boyfriend is driving and he says mosquitos”

Me:  “All spiders ever created---EVER!”

Mom:  “Bees, wasps, any flying thing that stings”

Sister:  “How about your favorite insect?  Mine are dragonflies.  Boyfriend’s are walking sticks”

Dad: “Creepy”

Sister:  “Creepy cool!”

Dad:  “I don’t have a favorite insect”

Sister:  “Not even butterflies?”

Dad:  “Okay, I would not kill a butterfly”

Mom2:  “Lady bugs….but they are just beetles in a cute outfit”

Dad:  “So who wants to know what we did this afternoon?”

Sister:  “I’ll bite”

Aunt:  “Any mound tour of homes?”

Mom:  “Boxelder bugs are my favorite”

Sister:  “ER trip?  Ant bites?”

Dad:  “We toured Barksdale Air force Base Museum with our friends B and C.  Barksdale is home to the 2^nd bomber inf and the B52”

Sister:  “Coolio”

Aunt:  “That beats the ant mound tour”

Sister:  “Or ant bites”

Me:  I screened 120 runny-nosed Head Start kids today”

Sister:  “Missy wins”

Dad: “yep”

Aunt:  “Agreed”

 From December 5………………………………………………………………………….

Sister:  “F2Q!!  Its Missy’s turn!”

Me:  “My husband is out of town but I’ll throw one out there.  I’m working on the basement and watching old episodes of “Emergency” on NetFlix.  What is your favorite CHEESY television series?!  (And BTW, Rampart is REALLY busy this evening.  Lots of D5W PUSH happening in this episode!  OMG is this stuff cheese ball!!!!!  I remember it SO differently!  Dr. Bracket is a dick!  He is so rude to Dixie and the student nurses.  Beeeeep Boooooop Beeeeeeep----engine 51,  squad 51-----we have a spider bite on 5^th Street and Elm----Cross street hickory.”

Aunt:  “Marchus Welby MD”

Mom2:  “I don’t consider them cheese but never get tired of watching Seinfeld and Frasier”

Dad:  “The original batman tv show aired in 1965.  So bad it was funny.  Lots of Pow and Zing and Bang banners on the screen.  Dumb.  We watched it every week at the rooming house I lived in in Murphysboro”

Me:  “OMG---good one!  And I was in love with Marcus Welby.  Loved Fantasy Island and Love Boat too”

Sister:  “Alice”

Mom:  “Dad2’s favorite is WKRP in Cincinnati---especially the  Christmas segment where Herb gets to kiss Jennifer before she flies to Israel for a “downhome” Christmas.  One of my favorites would be Gunsmoke----currently watching 1963 segment about the townspeople buckling under the strain of the Indian raids and acting violently----I especially loved the various limping Chester actors----and Kitty’s painted on lips and beauty mark”

Sister:  “WKRP in Cincinnati”

Me:  “Bwahahaha #kiss my grits!”

Sister:  “Mash, and………….the Waltons”

Me:  “Flipper”

Sister:  “YESSSSSSSSSSS”

Aunt:  “oh, MASH---loved it”

Mom:  “Little House on the Prairie”

Me:  “Aint nothing cheesy about pa Walton and Ingalls!!!!”

Sister:  “Total cheese----Gilligan’s Island”

Me:  “Oh man----good one”

Mom:  “Oh, I don’t know, the store owner’s wife was pretty cheesy and then there were the Beverly Hillbillies”

Me:  “OMG---yep mom”

Sister:  “Really disliked Beverly Hillbillies.  The grandma voice----totally annoying”

Mom: “The Dukes of Hazard”

Me:  “Oh man, these are Classic!  Dragnet!”

Aunt:  “Now THAT was total cheese”

Mom:  “Ohhhhh, I still love dragnet and the Twilight Zone”

Boyfriend:  “Finally chiming in.  Loved MASH and some of the others mentioned.  Flipper, Gilligan’s Island, Etc.  But I also liked Different Strokes and Hart to Hart.  Used to watch Differenct Strokes with my grandma on Friday nights as a kid.  Also liked Love Boat and Fantasy Island.”

Me:  “#Whatsyoutalkinboutwillis?”

Boyfriend: “I think Kimberly was my first crush”

Me:  “One day at a time!  I used to pretend we were them because it was about a single mom and two daughters growing up in an apartment!”

Boyfriend:  “Schneider rocked!”

Me:  “Amen”

Sister:  “Few more----Hee Haw.  Gramma had it blaring.  The Rockford Files.  I watched it on Friday nights at dad’s.  And Solid Gold.  Those dancers-----killer!!!!!”

Me:  “OMG---Solid Gold Dancers!! Hahahaha”

Sister:  “I so wanted to be one!”

Aunt:  “Oh Geez, forgot about Hee Haw!”

Sister:  “Where or where are you tonight?  Why did you leave me here all alone?  I searched the world over and thought I found true love.  You met another and Pfet you were gone!”

Me:  “Kirksville Missouri population 17,000  SA-----LUTE!!”

Aunt:  “ROFLMAO”

Sister:  “hahahaha”

Husband:  “I’m in Kansas hunting.  There was a show that was like celebrity challenge where they would compete at different challenges.  It was on after Hee Haw.  They would beat each other with pugil sticks and such.  Anybody remember this?

Me:  “Not me------must have only been on at your house!  And what’s a pugil stick?”

Boyfriend:  “Grief, despair and agony on me”

Husband:  “The Hee Haw jokes in front of the fence and then it hitting them in the rear.  Classic stuff”

Sister:  “Solid gold dancers.  Part jazz, part gymnastics, part strip club.  Good God.”

Dad:  “Gloom, despair and……..”

Me:  “Hee hee hee Haw Haw Haw.”

Dad:  “Good one tonight.  We were at a golf banquet and mom2 would not let me play with my phone.  Pfet.  Good recall of the song sister.  Still laughing at the SA-LUTE Miss.  Funny stuff tonight.  Great job family!

Sister:  “Pfet.  You was gone-----Literally!”

Dad:  “Mom2 would NOT let me play with my phone!”

Me:  “Big meanie”

Sister:  “Utubed the sa---lute.  Forgot they pop up from a cornfield.  Classic!!  Wicked Step-mother!”

Dad:  “I know right?!”

From  December 12………………………………..

Sister:  “F2Q!!!!!!  Husband, since you missed last week you’re up!”

Husband:  “Ok, here goes.  What is the single best day trip you have had with your significant other?  Mine was the trip Missy and I took to Jackson Hole last year.  It was nice to see parts of Yellowstone and the grand Tetons and just spend time with an adult without little people telling me they were bored, tired, hungry, angry, etc.  She and I got to have conversations and just be a couple again.”

Mom2:  “Before dad takes this one I will say the 25^th anniversary trip on the Queen Mary 2 and then three days in NYC.  But then, there is the Rome trip, or Paris, or London was terrific too.  Too many to choose from.  That’s what happens when you get old”

Me:  “I don’t think that’s what happens when teachers get old-----no money!”

Husband:  “Miss and I will be looking back fondly on the trip to Piggly Wiggly.”

Me:  “Truth”

Dad:  “What she said and driving across our great country days after retiring to pick up the new coach in OR was special.  A whole new phase of our life was unfolding.  Life after 42 years at CAT.”

Me:  “I’m impressed by 42 years.  That’s cool.”

Dad:  “But you will have the enormous satisfaction of being part of the formation of many young people’s lives.  Can’t buy that.”

Me:  “Good point.”

Dad:  “So there!”

Boyfriend:  “I’m the only one in this text that 42 years at CAT is longer than I’ve been alive.  # little victories”

Me:  “OMG”

Dad:  “Score one for the snot-nosed kid”

Boyfriend:  “That aside, very impressive dad”

Sister:  “Mine are a day trip to starved rock the first fall I met new boyfriend.  And the Ozarks winery tour this past fall”

Aunt:  “We have had great times on the East Coast and then in New Mexico this fall.  Arizona too, that’s been a long time ago.”

Mom:  “We’re back!  Enjoyed all your interesting answers.  Our favorite day trip was in NYC this summer going on the boat around Manhattan Island or driving down the California highway 1 from San Francisco many years ago.”

Boyfriend:  “Well everywhere I go with sister is awesome (insert your barf comment here) and she did mention a few of the best.  I would say each time we go to Florida in the winter has been great.  Galena last fall was a really good time too.  Looking  forward to many more.”

Dad: “Have we heard from Miss?  Or is there no fun times when it’s just her and whatshisname?”

Me:  “Sorry”

Sister:  “Yea, Miss, WTH??  And it’s YOUR husband’s turn!  Pfet!”

Me:  “We had MANY fun day trips before we were wrangling boys----every  where we went I would be in tears laughing because husband was so funny when we drove anywhere---seriously, he told me the most hysterical stories and we were going to SAMS in Columbia about once a month back then.  We also had great day trips to six flags and the Ren fest.”

Husband:  “Why the hell are we spending money on Disney if I can just drive you to SAMS???”

Me:  “Because now you have to make me AND the kids laugh----SAMS won’t cut it anymore  LOL”

Husband:  “Seriously, skip the cruise when you turn 50 and we can tailgate in the SAMS parking lot.  It would be a blast.”

Me:  “LOL.  I would probably have a good time.”

Husband: “Won’t have far to go for beer, chips and charcoal”

Me:  “True.  Total money saver!!  Hey all, should I turn the F2Qs into a Christmas letter this year??”

Husband:  “We could trash dad’s new coach.  Then he could have the Friday question of “what was the worst time you ever had with family?”

Me:  “lol….good one!”

Mom:  “yesssssssss-----crazy great idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me:  “I know right?  What does F2Q stand for?”

Aunt:  “SAMS---no need for motion sickness medicine.  Family question Friday----you bet-----Write it Missy!!!.  Friday/Family X2 question-----that’s what I think it means….just sayin”

Sister:  “Ah…….hello!!!!!  Its Friday Family Question!!”

Aunt:  “Ok, Ok.  I stand corrected.  Ay Ay Captain!”

Mom2:  “Okay, just returned from a party (safely) in spite of being over served.  Like the idea of the 50^th event at SAMS.  Works for us except for trashing the RV (You aint settin foot in it).  Now have to frost Xmas cookies to be delivered to the church in the AM.  Life is good here in geezerville.”

Dad:  “Love the whole SAMS tailgate party thing.  What a hoot.  Could be going long for the football pass. Book it!!!”

(Editor's note:  WARNING:  Foul Language approaching)

(The next day)

Mom:  “Hey Mom2…..wondering how the cookie frosting went considering you were over served last night?  Doesn’t matter much though, I know they will taste great anyway!”

Dad:  “Mom2 will definitely answer when she is not driving.  We were up til 2:00 AM finishing the cookies.  The stars and round cookies were no problem.  It was the gingerbread men that had us working so late.  It all turned out good although she was calling the GB men the “little bastards” before we got done.  She was in a big hurry to get out of the house to deliver them to the church on time and had them all packed up before we thought to take a picture of them.  The ladies at the church will take all the cookies collected and prepare plates of mixed cookies to sell after mass this weekend SO, I’m sure we will be buying some of her “little bastard’s" to bring back home.”

Mom2:  “Just stopped the car at the grocery store.  Another party tonight and have to take an appetizer.  We are party animals-----I’m getting too old for this!”

Mom:  “LOL to dad!!  Be sure to bring some of the “little bastard” GB men to Missy’s after you “rebuy” your own product.  Definitely want to see these!!  Mom2, keep on keepin on---never too old to party until you miss the party altogether because you forgot you were invited!”

Aunt:  “Rock on geezers!”

Mom2:  “That could happen.  I could also forget I signed up to bake the cookies for church.  They seemed to have plenty without the ”little bastards” I brought.  Okay, on the road again…………………….”

Me:  “You people make me laugh HARD!!!!!  I TOTALLY LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!  See you all next week for Christmas!!!!!”

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!