Season’s Greetings everyone!
For those of you who prefer the more traditional type of Christmas letter I offer you the following sentence: James and I are still teaching in the same places, we drive the same vehicles, we live in the same house and have the same dog. We also have the same two children but this is where we veer from the “traditional” letter to the “Melissa” Christmas letter. Here goes…..
When I say we have the same two children what I really mean is that we still parent the same two children; Alex, age 8 and Adam age 4. This is where we take leave of the word “same.” There is nothing at all the “same” regarding these two boys.
When Alex was born he was quiet and sweet. He slept on time and ate on time and we thought that since this whole parent thing was such a breeze we should branch out and have another. Alex was 4 years old when Adam came along.
Adam screamed. Adam kicked. Adam bit other children. Adam was allergic to all formula and slept when and where he wanted to. (He still does). Alex is in the third grade and merely tolerates school. Adam loves preschool. He loves to read and write and do math. Alex could take or leave all of that in lieu of just about anything else. Alex never ever gets into trouble at school or any where else for that matter. Adam spends his life in time out. At the end of every school day we ask Alex, “how was school today?” We ask Adam how many time-outs he had and do we have any notes from the teacher to read? (Our most recent note indicated that Adam refused to stand and say the Pledge of Allegiance claiming he was “bored” and could we please speak with him about God and Country?!) Adam despises going to bed so his brother Alex voluntarily reads him bible stories so that he (Adam) will not get into any trouble. Alex is ever the little peace maker and subsequently has an A+ in religion.
With all of this said, it is no wonder that they have such different notions about how we (mom and dad as well as society) should treat the “poor.” (OMG, where is Melissa going with this??? Hold on, I’m almost there.)
When it came time to write our letters to Santa this year, I told the children that before we asked Santa to bring a single item into the house that we were going to clean out the play room and give some of our toys to the poor. After all, we give food to the poor at church, and we give mittens and coats and shoes to the poor at school. We give the Salvation Army Santa some loose change every time we enter Walmart so that the poor can have more money. So, in keeping with the many valuable teachable moments in life, I elected to carry this sentiment into our own home. Alex, in his loving nature embraced this idea and began to find toys that the poor might like. Adam began breaking toys claiming that “mom was just gonna give ‘em away anyway” which caused Alex to embark on a spontaneous lesson in “giving” and “stewardship.”
What happened next I was utterly unprepared for and thank God that I am able to think quickly on my feet. Alex turns to me and says (in front of Adam and in the middle of his lecture oh why we give to the poor), “Mom, if Santa is REAL, why do we have to give our toys to the poor kids? Why can’t Santa just bring them tons of stuff they want??”
Now please understand that we do not believe in lying to our children under any other circumstances. Santa Claus is another idea entirely. I will lie to these children even after they have children of their own and continue to wrap gifts in the “Santa” paper with the “Santa penmanship” until the day I take leave of this earth. In my opinion, there has to be some magic in the world somewhere and in my book, it’s all wrapped up in a neat little package that Santa himself delivers each year in the early morning hours of the 25th of December.
I quickly explained to the boys (in keeping with the “poor” theme that we had going here) that usually the parents who are poor need to work two jobs in order to keep food on the table. They are very very busy and often cannot help their children with their homework. Because of this, the poor kids’ reading and writing may not be as good as it should be and thus their Santa letters are not as “up to snuff” as some of the other childrens’. As a result, they may not get the gifts that they might like so we need to help the poor (and Santa) out in any way that we can. Alex, looking at Adam, bought the entire story and silently nodded at Adam. They then continued to select (and break) toys for the poor.
In our house this year we are thankful for many things, some of which are the “same” old things. We are thankful for our health, the fact that we each have the same old jobs and are able to drive the same cars that have (as of this moment) continue to run. We are also thankful for our very different children and the privilege we have in guiding them each and every year toward adulthood. It is never dull and we always continue to grow and learn from these two very different creatures.
This Christmas we wish you and your families a new year full of continued good things that will stay the same as well as perhaps some different things that will provide new and challenging experiences when and where you most need them.
Adam just walked in and asked me how many toys he needed to give up for these “poor” kids anyway? What if they were poor kids who were not “good” this year? Do poor “bad” kids still deserve toys? Alex looked at me and rolled his eyes. Clearly my work here is far from finished……..Merry Christmas everybody.
Love to all of you from James, Melissa, Alex and Adam (and Maddie the dog of course).
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