I am resolute! (or am I?)

This happens every year. One would think that after so many December 31sts I would come upon this day more prepared. I of course, once again, am not. Every year I tell myself that what I need is ONE great goal to focus on in the coming year. It's so cool that we get to "start over" every 365 days and the pressure to arrive at the perfect decision regarding what to change and/or improve is overwhelming. Here it is, time for another "do-over" and I am uncertain about the direction I need to take for 2012. So many thoughts run around in my head as the hours tick away and we approach 12 midnight.

Let's get the obvious ones out of the way: diet and exercise. Okay, so this year I will flatten my abs, shape my arms into something other than large tree trunks and drop 100 lbs. I will get up 3-5 times a week at 5:00 am, hit the rec center allowing myself enough time to get home, shower, eat something healthy, feed the kids and get them to school WITH their homework, all money needed for donating to the cause of the month AND the appropriate coats, hats, mittens, and/or boots based on my preordained knowledge of exactly what the weather will do that day. Yea......not gonna happen. What will happen is this:

I will promise myself that in the new year I will get to bed EARLY every night as women in their mid life phase tend to need more rest because the rest that they DO get will be fitful and sweaty. Upon trying to get to bed early I will realize that I have not checked the kids backpacks in weeks and I am now afraid of what might be lurking in there. Upon thinking of their upcoming day at school I will realize that they have no clean pants for their school uniforms and wherever their pants are, their required belts are not because they have become lost somewhere in the dirty laundry plus too cluttered house continuum. I will get to bed late and lose even more sleep because I will worry about what they will wear, what needs to be hosed out of their backpacks and how exhausted I will be when the alarm goes off in 5 hours. Diet and exercise are out and so is getting to bed early.

Maybe I'll learn to sew. Where would I put a sewing machine?

Maybe I will iron everything that needs ironing once a week. This of course would require needing to understand how to iron without the item looking more wrinkled than when I began which is the whole reason I never iron. Ironing is out. I can't learn to iron in the next 12 hours.

Maybe I will exfoliate and moisturize. I could vow to never go to bed each night without washing and using an oil reducing scrub on my face followed by 3 different kinds of moisturizers.......one for age spots, one for under eye wrinkles and one for pore reduction appearance. I could follow this up by applying my two different kinds of psoriasis creams to my elbows and the third kind to the inside of my ears so that the incessant itching is held at bay. If I am not too tired I could moisturize my arms and legs with the lotions from bath and body that are solidifying in my medicine cabinet from lack of use. By this time my plan to go to bed early is out (again) since it will take me over an hour to moisturize and exfoliate.

I could floss. I mean everyday and not just when I have popcorn stuck in my teeth.

I could become a professional organizer.......except that I have no money for an additional degree.

I could become a clean freak and disinfect until my fingers smell like bleach and crack and bleed. Wait. That would cause me to need more cream. Not gonna happen.

I could become better at investing.....if I had any money to invest.

Seriously, the longer I write, the closer it gets to midnight and I am still resolution-less.

Maybe I can resolve to simply survive another year. One more go-around of getting up, getting the kids to school, paying the bills, helping with homework, buying the groceries, saying I love you, making it to work and keeping all health care, dental and vet appointments for all of us. Maybe in the end, that will be good enough. It's really all I'm up for anyway.

Happy new year!