Christmas Letter 2007---Communication is our forte!!

“A vocabulary of truth and simplicity will be of service throughout your life”

~~ Winston Churchill

“Hey James, Santa fainted.”  These were my words as I entered the house this evening.  Now when I say “Santa fainted” I don’t mean the lovable jolly gift bearing fat man from up North. (Sadly, I don’t have the privilege of seeing him every night as I pull into our driveway.)   I am affectionately referring to the seven foot tall blow up Santa who stands guard in our front yard…the key word there being “stand.”  When I drove in this evening, Santa was all lit up and lying flat on his back with his head in the bushes like he’d seen one of the elves riding naked through the yard on Rudolph.  Hence my comment upon arriving home.  (At this point I feel the need to explain WHY we have a seven foot tall blow up Santa anchored in our yard.  You see last year, Alex BEGGED for lots of blow up yard decorations.  It seems that when you’re six or seven you just clearly aren’t living right without the proper tacky yard ornamentation.  James and I cleverly explained that the lawn characters were just WAY too expensive and we could not possibly see our way clear to buying one of them, lest we have to forgo dinner or shoes or some other major important staple in life.  (We were so proud of ourselves for getting out of that one!!) Some weeks after hearing this, Alex was discussing with the neighbors the blow up snowman they had in their yard when to our horror he told them we were too poor to buy any seasonal blow up friends.  Two days later, there was Santa in our front yard, compliments of George and Carolyn!  Needless to say, our house faces theirs and now Santa faces Frosty.   Except tonight when Santa decided to take a little nap which is where I began this story). 

So WHY am I telling you all this?  When James and I became parents we thought we were prepared for a number of important things. (ie how to make formula without lumps, where to buy a replacement lunch box at mid year, self-bathing 101).  We never gave any thought to the simple things like what we would actually say to the children or to each other as the years progressed.  As the director of a Speech and Hearing Clinic married to a Master’s degree level English teacher, we thought communication was our forte. …. that words were our playground in which we could weave beautiful tapestries of colorful phraseology in any fashion that we so desired. Never in our wildest dreams could we have imagined the things that would come out of our mouths.  Soon after Christmas last year we were sitting in a restaurant like any normal family when I swear I turned to Adam and said:  “Get your bacon off my coat!”   This caused James and I to pause and spend some real time thinking about the plethora of other ridiculous things we have said to the kids as well as to each other and we vowed at that moment to keep track of them for an entire year.  The following are statements we have ACTUALLY SAID at one time or another during 2007:  (typically with jaws clenched while using an impatient tone)

“Get your hand out of my armpit!”

“I’ll get you a rock after dinner.”

“Alex, let your dad jump rope for awhile.”

“Yes Adam, your lemon smells.”

“I promise, the broccoli WILL fit into your mouth, just try it.”

“I don’t care if he ate the last Scooby-Doo vitamin just eat Sponge Bob!”

“Give him a pirate guy RIGHT NOW!”

“Where should I pack your pinecone?”

“I know it’s not fair that HE got the purple cast but HE BROKE HIS ARM!!!!”

“Get your fry off the wall!”

“Get your tongue OFF the door!”

“What do you mean your dime is in the potty?”

“Who put the popsicle in the Doritos bag?”

“Adam, stop licking the (dog, your brother, grandma’s feet, fuzzy lolli-pop)”

“Stop hitting me with that Lizard.”

“Boys!  Get that nail out of the fish tank!”

And my personal favorite conversation between James and myself:

Melissa:  “James, wake up the dog is dying!”

James:  “What?”

Melissa:  “The dog is dying…..she’s throwing up a ton of black stuff”

James:  (looking at the dog) “She’s fine…..that’s pork steak she’s throwing up.”

Melissa:  “Where did she get all that pork steak?”

James:  “In the back yard”

Melissa: “Why was there pork steak in the back yard?”

James:  “Because it was ON FIRE!”

So you see, the comment “Santa has fainted” is really quite a natural statement  at this time of year coming from a family like mine who takes such pride in our ability to communicate with one another so effortlessly.  I could spend multiple pages providing examples of our living banter but I need to get the kids off to bed who keep asking me where daddy is……

 “He‘s outside giving Santa CPR so he can wave at Frosty!!”  (Duh!)

Merry Christmas from our family to yours! 

Fondly,

Melissa and the boys

Christmas Letter 2006--Who keeps stealing my days??

Greetings to all.  I am convinced that the years are getting shorter…..like some magical mystical force is sneaking into my year and removing a few days here and there.  This has been going on for years and I am fairly certain that the older I get, the more days are being stolen from me.  I am pretty sure that instead of the typical 365 days this year that I enjoyed somewhere in the neighbor hood of 200.  Does this happen to any of you or is it just me?  Maybe it’s because I will be 40 in six months or maybe it’s because we seem to be driven toward taking on large remodeling projects just as we are about to have a house full of holiday guests or perhaps its because I am continually playing “beat the clock” and running late from a meeting with a student to a cub scout gathering to the airport and if I am lucky with just enough time to hit the gas station.

At any rate, I am late this year with almost everything because some of my days have gone missing.  For example, my house has the Christmas tree up with lights on but no ornaments.  The ornaments have been dug out from their prison underneath the stairs, but I need an extra day to get them onto the tree.  Does anyone have a day on reserve day I can borrow?  If someone does not lend me a day soon I will have no Christmas cookies made and will be lucky to get the shopping for Christmas groceries completed.  Do you suppose the family would mind eating take-out Chinese on Christmas?  I am pretty sure Ponderosa will be open for a few hours on Christmas…. we could go there.  Christmas grand buffet anyone?

As my years get shorter I have noticed some other odd things happening to me.  I began calling the college students the “kids” this year.  I have no idea why. It just sort of snuck into my vocabulary.  I also hurt in places I didn’t know I had….especially after throwing Adam into the air.  More and more things are being covered on my health insurance because of my age and I see real value in not only purchasing but using Oil of Olay eye cream.  Bizarre.

Because I have lost so many days and neither my kids nor James seem to have them hidden anywhere, (or do they?) I have asked for their help in writing this year’s letter to save myself time.  When asked what they did with their days this year they said: 

James:  I did not work as much last summer as usual.  I spent lots of time in the pool with Alex and his friend Casey.  I built a deer “condo” in the woods complete with vinyl windows, storm door, carpeting, insulation and metal roof.  (and the beauty is that Melissa thinks I am out working---don’t tell her!)  I got a nice deer and taught my students how to carve duck decoys out of cork.  I made my annual pilgrimage to the Holy Land (the Bass Pro Shop in Springfield) and bought my first NEW compound bow.  I worship it weekly.  I took 24 students fishing (Melissa thinks I am out of my mind) and my neighbor gave me a percussion cap rifle model 1841 from the pre-civil war era.  (That last sentence is why Melissa does not let me write the Christmas letter…….)  I am particularly proud of my days spent teaching last year as our students achieved a rank among the top 10 students in English in the state according to test scores, proving to Alex once again that spelling words and grammar are indeed valued and important in our society if not so much in Northeast Missouri.

Alex:  I had a cool birthday party with an “under the sea” theme and all my friends came.  I jumped off of the top of a pontoon boat and successfully completing a cannon ball with an accidental twist (my mom closed her eyes the first 15 times)  My mom and dad were so engrossed in the rest of the family during the big group family picture at papa Jim’s 60^th birthday party at the lake that they forgot I was in the cabin playing my video game.  I am not in the picture but I forgave them after they cried for two hours and begged me to. (I am a VERY forgiving child and took pity on the poor fools)  I study my spelling words very hard even though they are “optional.”  Mom and dad say that when you are the kid of a teacher that extra school work is never “optional.”  Sometimes I wish I were the kid of a rock star or a video game developer.  I still love my blue blanket but no one is supposed to know that so don’t tell.  I don’t let mom or dad kiss me at school and that drives them nuts.  I played soccer and love “hands on science” and cub scouts!  I tried to be nice to my brother even though he is ALWAYS  in the way and often bites me.  Sometimes, I am nice and let him in my room…….sometimes.   I love the kid though…..it’s nice to have a groupie who will fend off attacking strangers with his teeth.

Adam:  (Okay, he’s two so Melissa will paraphrase)

I stayed home while Alex went to cub scouts.  I stayed home while Alex went to soccer practice.  I went to the babysitters when Alex stayed home for a snow day.  (recognize a theme here?  Yea…me too….really ticks me off…..maybe I should bite someone) I tried to play Alex’s video game and he yelled at me for messing it up. I tried to read Alex’s big-boy books but unless they had a car or truck or ambulance in them they were too boring.  I ate all my peas. My great aunt Polly taught me to say “no way” and I say it all the time. I like to say “no nap” and “no new diaper.” Mom and dad tell me I will like the potty but so far I’m not convinced.  I want to be Alex when I grow up but I love to say “me Adam Hendler.”  I’m obsessed with milk and my blue blanket and I try not to bite and hit but sometimes I forget.  My mom thinks I’m a-dor-a-ble but I say “no way dor-able!”

So that’s where the year went for our family.  I just checked the date and it’s been 3 days since I started writing this letter………..does anyone have any spare days to donate?  I know an overwhelmed yet worthy cause……….

Happy Holidays from our house to yours.

Peace,

Melissa and the boys

Christmas Letter 2005----Our favorite parts of the year

Hello everyone and Merry Christmas.  I can’t believe it’s “that” time again.  I had no idea what to write about this year since I just looked at the calendar yesterday and swear it was June.  Then, just when I thought I would have to forego the letter this year due to no creative inspiration, our oldest son Alex provided just the jolt I needed.

Every single solitary day, regardless of where we are trying to go, Alex and I have the exact same conversation.  This morning was no different.  I was running around the house trying to find my (shoes, keys, purse, sanity…insert noun of choice here) and Alex (who is 5) and I began our daily exchange:

Mom:  Alex, its time to go to school/church/shopping….  Get your shoes and coat. (When I am in a good mood and five minutes late versus ten I add a “please” get your coat and shoes)

Alex:  But mom, I can’t…..this is my FAVORITE part. (Can you guess he’s watching television?)

Mom:  But Alex, I thought you were watching your favorite part yesterday? (along with a completely different program!)

Alex:  Well yea, but this is my OTHER favorite part…..

Mom:  (Insert eye roll here). 

Now some would say this would be the time to re-examine my/our ideals and perhaps take stock in how much television watching the child is doing and implement an effective course of action to decrease the amount of viewing ……but I saw this instead as my opportunity to create fodder for the Christmas letter.

James and I have had several “favorite” parts of the year and just as Alex is compelled to share his with me every single morning, I, in turn, offer the following to you:

 Our “favorite parts” of this year included:

Alex jumping off the back of papa Jim’s boat all by himself….and NOT drowning

Adam sleeping through the night so we could too

The whirlpool section of the public pool in Camdenton

Spending time at Mom and Bob’s new condo at the lake and not spilling (much) on the white carpeting yet

Alex telling James that he wants to hunt with him when he is “big” (and James settling for my suggestion of “bigger than now”)

Alex telling James that he would give up his “favorite” show on t.v. to go fishing with him so that he would not be sad because daddy had to go all by himself (you know with all that peace and quiet…..yuck!)

Spending time with the family in Las Vegas at Molly’s wedding and not gambling away the vehicles, house or kids

Watching Adam climb into his own high chair and look at us when he is hungry

Alex’s first day of Kindergarten…..(and him waiting until the SECOND day to hit another kid----lightly)

Alex scoring seven goals in a single game in his first season of soccer…..and the other parents not hitting us

Alex’s first day of riding a two-wheel bike solo….so James could stop running behind him (and cussing) and catch his breath

Completing the addition on the house……so we now ALL have room to breathe, run, dance, play and spill more drinks

Experiencing safe travel every time we left the house…..regardless of how many “mom look at this RIGHT NOW” requests we got while doing 65 down the highway

Adam feeding himself (and not the dog) with a spoon

Showing James our picture for Christmas this year (included in your letter) and having him ask…. “so where’s your right arm?  (we’re still laughing at that one and yes I still have both arms…….I have no idea what I’m doing in that picture but it is the ONLY one where we are all facing forward, with our heads above the leaves and smiling. Oh yea….and no ones nose is running!)

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  I CAN'T FIND THE PHOTO THAT I AM REFERRING TO IN THE ABOVE PARAGRAPH SO I AM INSERTING ONE OF ALEX AND ADAM ON A HORSE.  WHY?  I HAVE NO IDEA.  I DO NOT HAVE A HORSE LETTER (AND DON'T PARTICULARLY LIKE OR DISLIKE HORSES) BUT I LOVE THE PICTURE.--also, I have no idea who that person is who is leading the horse and bet she never thought she would end up as a photo in a Christmas letter)  

Well I need to close for this year…. Adam is now standing at the gate at the top of the stairs screeching something in Russian to James who dared to descend the stairs and leave his sight! Besides, its time to take Alex shopping for baking ingredients for our annual cookie-baking fest but at the moment he’s watching the Grinch……and its his favorite part………*sigh*

Lots of Love and Happy Holiday wishes to everyone…….

Melissa & the boys

Christmas letter 2004----A small town says goodbye to Brad

Hello friends and family,                                                            December 16, 2004

We hope this letter finds you enjoying all this special season has to offer.  The annual Christmas letter is a difficult one for our family to write this year since we, as a group, have been through so much.  Knowing however, that each of you cares about us makes it easier to share our news, so please lend us your ear as we tell you of our year...

In May James and I said hello to a precious little life as we welcomed our second son Adam Robert into the world as well as into our hearts.  He is rolling around now, trying to sit on his own and eating everything we put in front of him.  At seven months he is half the weight of our four-year-old son Alex!  He is a very happy little fellow and we are blessed to have him.

In November, we said goodbye to another precious little life as our eleven-year-old nephew Bradley Wallin lost (or perhaps won?) his battle with osteosarcoma.  Brad was diagnosed in October, 2003 and never lost his winning spirit.  The following account of our first few days in December is what we want to describe in this letter and what we hope you will take the time to read as it is the only “present” we can give to little Brad this year. 

James and I were honored to be able to spend some time with Brad and his parents over the Thanksgiving holiday.  It was during this time that Brad was introduced to baby Adam and we are so fortunate to have that memory.  Thanksgiving ended, and on the Sunday following, James and I drove back to Kirksville.  The rest of our family drove to the Children’s hospital to say goodbye to one of the bravest kids we have ever known.

Three days later, we got back into the car and drove to Chillicothe, Illinois where Melissa was raised and where Brad was capturing the hearts of so many people.  We drove to Jeff and Lori’s house (Brad’s parents) and were met with neighbors and family all working together to give Brad the most unique and heart-warming send off of anyone has ever seen.

The next day we watched as over one-thousand people stood for many long hours to share condolences with Jeff and Lori and to bring Brad little tokens of remembrance.  Notes, cards, ball caps, pictures, bracelets, figurines, books and many other items were left with Jeff and Lori as well as with brad himself in his final little “bed” at the visitation.  Hundreds of children were asked to sign the casket and leave Brad a note, the most important of which came from Brad’s best little friend Cole who took that last trip to the hospital with him and never left his side.

At the funeral, over 400 people filled every inch of the small-town funeral home where we celebrated his life in song, poem and eulogy.  Upon leaving the funeral home we rode in an 88-car procession that stopped a train and wound through the entire town including past Brad’s house where a sign read “thank you Chillicothe for your support,”  past the town ball field where his jersey hung on the fence surrounded by balls and bats, through the down town area where every street lamp was covered in blue ribbon in honor of Brad, past two separate schools where Brad attended and hundreds of teachers and school children stood in silence to pay honor to their friend and class mate.  People lined the streets, came out of their businesses and huddled together in the cold to recognize a spirit that refused to leave.

At the cemetery, we were lead in song to “take me out to the ballgame” as the honorary “junior” pall-bearers released blue balloons into the sky and as Brad’s sister Brooke released a white dove.  The sky was sunny with only very minimal cloud cover and no rain the entire day…….though……..when the song was complete we turned to see a piece of a rainbow in the sky overhead………a wink from the “little man” indicating “I’m gone but not far.” Such a perfect gift at the perfect time!  Words cannot describe…… Following was a meal at a country club whose drive was lined in blue ribbons and was served by some of Brad’s teachers.

Brad’s passing into “earning his angel wings” saw him on the cover of 3 newspapers and a television nightly news piece.  More than 90 floral arrangements decorated the funeral home and people all over town wore blue ribbons on their clothes and hung them on their doors.  A finer tribute we have never seen.

This Christmas season we take comfort in the ability of one little child to unite a family, a town and indeed, an entire community in fellowship and love.  James and I feel so privileged to have known Brad and will always hold his wisdom, spirit and strength as a role model for our two boys.

Many other things happened this year…..Alex started tee-ball and soccer, we traveled, my sister got engaged, we added onto our house…….but nothing else really compares to the celebrations of two little innocent lives that we experienced in 2004.

We believe that the baby Jesus was born into this world so that little Brad (and everyone else) will have a safe place in heaven to run and play and celebrate when it is our time.   His birth and our subsequent “heavenly reward” are the real “reason for the season” and in our family this year, this is what is foremost in our minds.  So parents, hug your children a little tighter this year as you read our story.  They are all such little miracles and James and I continue to learn from them everyday.

May peace be yours this Christmas season!

Love to all,

James

Melissa

Alex & Adam

Christmas letter 2002-- a thank-you note Christmas

Hello everybody!!

Okay, so here comes Christmas again.    At the time of this writing I have not yet even managed to coerce James into digging around under the stairs (moving the vacuum cleaner, the luggage, the “fall” and “Easter” decoration boxes not to mention disrupting the final resting place of various spiders and other spring-time friends) to locate the “perfect find” Christmas tree from three years ago.  I think I’m running behind because this is a James-tree-year.  For those of you who don’t know what a “James-tree” is let me help you “see the light.”  Every year James and I alternate between whose turn it is to have the tree of their choice.   This is a “James-tree” year which means we will be having a tree complete with the 1950s burn-your-house-down fat lights that are really meant for gigantic evergreens still growing naturally somewhere (Like the forest or that mammoth thing they drag in every year for the White House lawn). This is opposed to the “Melissa-tree” year where we have the classic mini-white lights ONLY adorning the tree so you really feel like you’re at a classy, romantic outdoor-evening affair (you know, the type of affair James usually avoids and finds an excuse to “stay home in case Alex begins feeling ill” from). I will spend the entire holiday season smelling each room to ensure there is not even the slightest aroma of burning fake pine from the multi-colored fat lights and will go so far as to sit on the couch on those brisk evenings when we light the fireplace holding the fire extinguisher on my lap for maximum fat-light-tree safety.  But this is not at all what our letter is about this year. 

Because I’m so far behind in my holiday decorating, baking, wrapping and obsessing (after all, its the 5^th of December and I have received not one but TWO Christmas cards already) I’m thinking about how far behind this will put me AFTER Christmas.  After all, if I start late, I’m sure we’ll end late and that brings me to the focus of our letter.  In an attempt to not get any further behind with the Christmas agenda of “to-dos” I have decided to go ahead and write our Thank-you notes now.  This should save some time after Christmas and allow a wider margin for James to stuff the tree back under the stairs, not to mention re-tangle the fat lights for two years from now. 

James and I would like to take this time to say “thank you” to all those people who helped make our year special:

Thank-you to the “Wiggles” for making the trip from Australia to the U.S. (Kansas City) so Alex could see his first LIVE childrens concert and so that James and I could reaffirm the notion that we are not the only adults in the world who not only know who these men are but are willing to pay big money to ensure our child may see them from the 4^th row.

Thank you to Dr. R. Gooch for his friendly, non-threatening chair-side manner.  Because of his “I wear jeans and talk about hunting” attitude James now has a dentist he not only likes but will listen to in terms of dental care. 

Thank you to the nice woman who works in Kroger in Chillicothe, Illinois for staying open 10 minutes past midnight when I so desperately needed to get Alex some Pedialyte for his “I think I’ll start throwing up at midnight when I’m outta town” flu.

Speaking of that instance, thank you to grandma Ginny and grandpa Jim for not throwing us out when Alex proceeded to throw up all over their brand new pretty house on our VERY FIRST visit. (did I mention it was in the middle of the night?)

Thank you to Charlie and Larry Williamson for being so nice to us and inviting Alex to try to take a nap in their cool speed boat when we invaded their vacation in Arkansas.

Thank you to all of the nice airline pilots and staff for flying me/us safely to Palm Springs, Washington D.C., Little Rock, New Orleans and Atlanta this year. (Thank you also for overlooking my hysteria and understanding when I threw my arms around you all upon landing safely)  Speaking of which…..

Thank you to John, Janet et al for keeping me occupied on our various flights and continuing to speak to me as I took chunks out of their legs with my finger nails as we hit those “their just like bumps in the road” air pockets. (Oh yea, and thanks to mom for the tranquilizers!)

Thank you to Jeff McMorrow, Bob Wilson, Pete McGLaughlin, Mark Merdian, Christine Hawley, Gina Prayne White, Tina Jones, Amy Morrissey Fleshman and honorary “good-little-catholic girls” Kelly Manns McMorrow and Michele Kline Kluge for participating in the best-darn St. Edwards, all school reunion ever.  The 6^th grade class of 1979 had an awesome time!!!!!!

Thank you to the very nice mom who took the time to write the letter regarding James and his teaching.  Neither one of us will ever forget that kindness and want to remind those of you with school-aged children that if you have a teacher you think is doing a good job, please take the time to let them know.  Teachers get far too little credit as it is (and they certainly aren’t rewarded monetarily).  Any way we can help them feel appreciated is a good thing.

Thank you to all of the Missouri speech-language pathologists who trusted me enough to vote for me for one of the VPs of the association.  Thank you then, secondarily for putting up with all of my hokey newsletter articles.

Along those same lines, thank you to all the attendees of last year’s Missouri state convention for not booing me out of the hotel when there was not enough FRUIT with the pastry for breakfast when I served as co-chair of the conference.

Thank you to the automobile Gods for allowing our beat-up-old van to run yet another year and for safe travel for James, Alex and uncle Jeff all the way up to Michigan (in the truck of all things!!!!!)

Thanks to my family for joining me in St. Louis to help celebrate my 35^th birthday.

Thanks to the ER staff at the hospital in Kirksville for being nice to Alex and stitching up his first wound.  (Thanks to nana Sue for being the first person to injure him so that the rest of us are “off the hook” if it is ever our turn!!!)

Thanks to Heather, Shana, and Janet, Alex’s first speech therapists who, without batting an eye, willingly took on the challenge of providing therapy to the clinic director’s kid.

Finally, to those of you who enjoy our Christmas letters, thanks for all the compliments over the past several years.  For those of you who do not enjoy them, thanks for putting up with my/our rather unconventional style.

Oh yea, and Thank you to God for sending us two little boys:  the baby Jesus and Alex Hendler.  We love them both very much.

Time to close for this year………James has wrestled the tree out from under the stairs………and I think I smell something burning.

Peace,

 James, Melissa, Alex